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Archive for the ‘cereal’ Category

I just thought of some more pet peeves – they’re unlimited really. Let’s, for example, discuss packaging.  Can you tell me why it is necessary to wrap a CD, DVD, iPod, set of spoons, battering ram, rubber ducky – anything really, you name it – in four hundred layers of bullet proof hard-shell plastic that is impossible to open unless you are carrying a chain-saw with you in the car?  It’s enough to make Ghandi spit.  There’s no point in trying to tear open the pack with your fingers or your teeth, and banging it on the dashboard has no effect other than to vent your rage and knock your coffee cup – full of cold coffee of course – on the floor where it makes a slippery brown puddle on your nice new floor mats that are still encased in plastic because you couldn’t get it off. 

 

What about cereal boxes and chip bags [crisps for you Brits out there].  Obviously there is someone with a little air pump who blows up and seals the bags all day long so that you – slightly daft in the head consumer you – believe that there are actually *more* chips, cornflakes, Wheaties in the bag than there actually are.  “Blimey – this entire box of Choco-Chunko-Pops barely fits in one cereal bowl.  Is my china wear somewhat oversized or have I been done – probably by the same company that keeps increasing the diameter of the hole in the middle of the toilet roll until I get mostly cardboard and not much toilet roll on my roll?” 

 

Cereal is a major peeve of mine.  The boxes keep getting taller and thinner, or shorter and thinner [to make me think I’m getting the same amount as yesterday – harhar] until soon it will only be possible to get six flakes in the box standing end on end.  Over here we call them ‘one flake boxes’.  The price is right though – $1.99 for half a bowl of breakfast cereal must be a great deal – don’t you think?  Or at least the manufacturers would have you think so.  And another thing – here in Canada – and probably everywhere else, the price of cereal has increased exponentially over the past five years.  I don’t know if there are any other industries – barring the fat bastard petroleum companies of course – that could possibly get away with jacking up their prices by 100% every six months.   Of course you have to pay more for the nutritional benefits of getting less sugar, less fat, less salt, and less cereal in your box.  Hasn’t it ever struck you as somewhat odd that if they leave something out you get to pay more money for it?  Maybe it’s just me.

 

And don’t you just love those crafty little MBA business types who play cat and mouse with us, obviously slightly thick, consumers?  We evidently don’t notice the flatter, thinner boxes, or the size of the hole in the toilet roll, and if you wrap something in a big enough box i.e. computer games, we will fully believe that the eighty dollar price tag is warranted.  Nowadays you can even sell us a large box containing nothing at all except a small compact disk that allows us to play the game ONLINE for only eighty bucks – plus small monthly fee of course. 

 

I can download music for my over-priced iPod from iTunes for only 99 cents per song – which comes to much more than the price per song of buying the entire non-virtual album off the shelf, especially if you factor in the big box wrapped in cellophane encased in the bullet-proof hard-shell box that I can’t get open that it comes in.  Then there are athletic shoes.  Did you ever in your wildest dreams anticipate the day when you would go out and actually fork over two hundred and fifty bucks for a PAIR OF SHOES!  Now you must have designer shoes for walking, for running, for cross-training, for yoga, for playing basket-ball, for standing still and doing nothing, or just to show the neighbours you forked over all that money for a PAIR OF SHOES!  And don’t forget the gear.  You have to have spandex shorts and coolmax shirts and wrist guards and headbands and sports goggles to complete your outfit.  You can’t just waltz out to the court, rink, gym wearing any old tatty t-shirt.  It has to at the very least be emblazoned with NIKE, or ADIDAS; otherwise it’s just too too beyond the pale.  You would be laughed out of the club.  Of course it goes without saying that you must be a member of a GYM.  Only the plebs work out at home or heaven forbid, go for a walk with the dog around the block.  You must go to the gym daily [to justify your exorbitant membership fees], and use words like aerobics, cardio, Tai-bo, aqua-fit, bench-press, heart healthy and six-pack in every conversation and drink power juices which are apparently made from ground up grass and cost four bucks a pop.

 

Other peeves to ponder [I’ve got a million of ‘em] – designer purses that cost upwards of three thousand dollars just because they say ‘Gucci’ on the flap – ‘Gourmet’ coffee and cocoa sold for 15 bucks per pound on the backs of poor indigenous farmers who get paid squat for working the fields 18 hours per day.  Clothes and textiles manufactured ‘off-shore’ so that local workers get laid off – designer shoes produced by sweatshops in Indonesia for pennies and sold for hundreds of dollars here – farmed salmon – gas prices – the price of electricity in Canada where we have some of the largest hydro-electric power plants in the world and the monopoly of the utilities companies that will happily cut off your light and heat in the depths of a Canadian winter and let you freeze to death, quite legally, for the sake of the hundred bucks outstanding on your bill.  Health services cut to the bone – taxes on everything increasing daily – no jobs – ageism – sexism – racism – religious fanaticism – any sort of ‘ism’.

I could go on but this is getting depressing.  I shall have to think of lighter things – maybe tomorrow.  Don’t touch that dial.

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